Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
前半段看的我太抓心挠肝儿了，天海买完包包那边真是太美啦
沉重议题娱乐化，包治百病妇展颜。
“人生百年，只要活着，就得花钱。”“牡丹饼吃不下三个。”“人生百味，挑贵的体会。”
表现手法很欢乐（搞笑艺人不少），强调金额的动画有特色，开始感觉女主周围靠谱的只有女主，给女主搞各种的困难，但是周围都是好人，最后意料之中的皆大欢喜。轻轻碰了一下养老、中年危机的话题，人物比较脸谱化，不够深刻，没有结果。本来还想SHARE HOUSE的出场是凑时长吗，结果居然是最终解决方案……SHARE HOUSE广告片么……//天海sama的可怜表演挺适合可爱的，但是不知为啥有种她会不婚的感觉。
I Don't Have Anything Left in My Retirement Life
81st with Tao. ——2022.05.04 @新林楼
天海女王总演老实贤妻已经很离谱，但更离谱是这个剧本啊。
请留最后一支舞给我。与人合租一起养老，这样的选择的也挺好。
虽然最后是大团圆结局，但前面的焦头烂额才是现实，迎刃而解只是电视剧里缓解焦虑的手段，演完这个天海佑希应该更坚定了不婚的选择，另外草笛光子这状态可太好了，松重丰失业后还能乐呵呵吃冰棍俨然五郎附体，三谷幸喜客串戏好多。
sharehouse真的是可行的办法之一了 直接一栋房 在一个离城市不远的郊区
正好上周看了原著，很小的一本书，篇幅不长，但人物刻画得还不错，话题聚焦养老的话题，整体偏都市现实向。电影改成了喜剧风，找了天海佑希来主演（突然就想看了）但其实比较出彩的剧情放在了乐观婆婆这个人物上，看起来不如题目那么严肃沉重了，可能是日本人的一种阿Q精神的展现吧—虽然生活艰难，家人在一起的话，就还是值得努力活一下的。
现在很多人表示自己都未必能活到退休，养老金这个东西让它见鬼去吧…
还不错，但本以为是看养老吐槽片，没想到是婆媳生活片，老太太和天海都很可爱，使得整个电影也很可爱！（但卖掉房子住群居屋真的要慎重呀！
一般，天海女王和大叔的演技当然在线，最后强行HE有些强颜欢笑啊。卖了房子还只有70w存款，这是日本底层民众吧，太惨了啊。
社会话题鸡汤化，没有养老的资金上有老下有小也要做自己哦……
看完觉得自己要好好存钱了。share house模式并不让人感冒
基本上全都是“中年没钱”困境的小合辑，没啥意思。
怎么可以用那么欢快的音乐搭配双双事业，女儿怀孕，老人被诈骗的场面，完全不能轻松起来啊！
结局鸡汤、避重就轻什么的都是标配了。虽然蜻蜓点水，但问题还是都点到了——论东亚人的家族之苦。题材挺有趣的。所以终极解决方式不就是万代屋嘛……不生病的话确实是最优解
天海佑希真的浑然天成，电影本身并没有说教而是传达一种可能性，三谷幸喜的客串笑死
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